lazy day

Today, Nic and I had a pretty lazy day. Well, first of all, he slept for 2 whole hours last night in his bassinet. The rest of the night, he slept with me. He woke up at 4...how might you ask? he woke himself up becuase he was laughing. It was so freaking adorable.He kept doing it all day.
Anyway--we finally got around to leaving the house at 1pm, when we went to my mom's so I could make Nic's dad a copy of his birth certificate, and bring her the apple bread I got them from Apple Annies. Then we went to the post office and then grocery shopping. I used the sling, so no creepy people touched him! yay! Then, we went to the bank, and came home, and skyped with my NJ cousins. In comparison Nic is HUGE! My cousin had her baby, Vincent, 15 days after Nic....
I think Nic is a giant. I never thought that before...I thought he was a little chunkie, but not big for his age or anything...
So, when we went walking tonight, a lady asked his age, and she said "oh my gosh..he's HUGE!" and now I'm weirded out. He's really chunkie, but I thought it was a good thing.. but now I'm nervous that he's too big? I feed him like.. I dont know, 20 times a day? I read that normally, breast fed babies feed 8-12 times a day, but I assume these babies feed from both sides, and don't barf all the time, so I really am not worried about that, but I feed Nic on demand, and so he eats a lot... Am I supposed to not do that? Because I think that's insanely mean. I dont want to starve my kid, but I don't want him to be too fat either.
..it's times like this I really wish I had someone to co-parent with. Today I was really bummed out about this topic, but I digress..

Anyway, when we got home, at about 7:30 I fed him, and he's been asleep ever since. It's 10:30.
How is it that my child sleeps for 3 hours when I'm not tired? EVERY. FREAKING. DAY?!?!?

oh well. this little face makes it ok.

And PS- I hate seeing people sleep. it literally disgusts me, and makes me sick to my stomach if they're not sleeping in a bed, at night time. I know it's a stupid thing, but whatever. Anyway. I freaking stare at Nic sleeping about 20 hours a day. I love this little boy more than anything in the entire world.

I feel really sorry for my self sometimes, since I'm doing it 100% solo, but then just a little while ago, I was text messaging Nic's dad... and it just must suck more for him. Like, I cant stand it if someone else tries to push the stroller, or if someone is holding him for longer than like, 30 minutes, because I feel anxious, and this like, intense desire to hold him. If I feel that way after 30 minutes, how does he feel?

I really hope that when he comes in November we can get along so he can spend as much time with Nic as possible, before he deploys..because even though I'm freaking awesome as a mom.. a little boy needs his dad.