Happy Halloween!

(he's pretty embarrassed I put him in a pumpkin..)




Happy Halloween!!!!

Bloody Cats, and a Puke Baby

Yesterday started out like any Thursday. Nic slept pretty well, so we were just hanging out watching Grey's Anatomy (seriously, I'm obsessed) and drinking delicious Don Fransisco coffee, and I was doing a little work from the comfort of my couch. Amazing.
When Nic went down for his morning nap at 10:30, I jumped in the shower, and got ready for Wings (wings is every Thursday at 1pm, and we go with a group of people, and it's amazing). I pumped before we left, just in case mr. fatty was hungry, and he was.. I fed him 3oz during lunch, and he was still hungry, so thankfully, we were done with lunch, so I fed him in the car for a good 10 minutes... this kid's going to eat me out of house and home when he's a teenager I think.

Anyway, our day was not complete without a little shopping with Monica and Caida :) We went to return my brother's Christmas present-- because my sneaky mother already got him the same thing-- and then we went to make some diaper exchanges at Walmart. And ps? My 6 week old is already in size 2 diapers. He's a fatty fat fat. Also? Walmart carries Luvs, yet won't let you return Luvs there. They took the Huggies, but I digress. I got him some Pampers, and they're working out well.. they're not swaddlers but they're holding in the poo, and that's all I really care about.
I hate Walmart, but I'm really excited, because they had travel wipe cases there, and I'm going to make a boutique looking case for my friend Grace, since she's due in a few weeks with a little girl! I'm so excited. I love girly things. :) Of course I'll be making Nicolas one too, because he needs a cool case too. I'm excited to post pictures when I'm done with them, if they come out looking good!

So, we went home after the Wal, I fed Nic, we changed into our walking gear, and headed out to the park to meet with little Nona, and did just under 3 miles..it was so hot! it's October and it's HOT! so once we got home, I gave mr. chunker a bath, ate AGAIN, fell asleep and I put him in the swing. I also tried to give him a more professional hair do. He hates it. he is a Mohawk kind of baby.

His left eye looks like, way weird. it's not usually tiny. Slightly watery still, no matter what I do..but not tiny. ps? I've used drops, massaged it, hot washcloths, and....breast milk. Nothing.

anyway.

I threw in a load of laundry, and like an idiot, I slammed the door on the washing machine, and it woke him up.. So I went to feed him and as soon as he latched on, he coughed, so I pulled him back, and he started barfing his poor little head off. And my lack of house keeping paid off. I left the walmart bag on the floor, and normally? When Nic barfs I catch it in my hand, then, because I hate puke so much,...I throw it. I throw it on the floor or couch and so it's pointless, but this time? I threw it on the bag. WIN! oh well. Anyway, I went to clean Nic up, and noticed what I thought was cat barf under his big swing, and I thought to myself "awesome, it's gonna be a puke night".
When Nic was cleaned off, I went to the kitchen to wash my hands, and I was calling my mom to tell her of her grandson's epic puke and I saw blood. Everywhere. Like CSI in my damn kitchen. I freaked out, because clearly it was from the cat. let me back up for a second here... While I was feeding Nic, she was going NUTS running around my living room, so I seriously was worried she killed like, a mouse or something, because when we lived in KY she killed about 3.. but this is Tucson, and I live upstairs, so I really didn't think it was a mouse or anything like that.
So after looking all over for the cat, I was finding blood literally in every room of my house. EVERYWHERE.
I cleaned it up off the carpet and commenced a little thing I like to call "Gina freaking the fuck out"
I thought she was pooing blood, because it smelled like poo, and it was thick on the bench.. then splattered in drops everywhere. All over everything in my entire freaking house.
I coaxed her out from under Nic's crib and put her in my bathroom, and called my mom freaking out and texting Monica and my friend Grant... and Monica came to my rescue to see Jaz, and we found that it was her chin that was cut open. It looks as if she punctured her chin, all the way through.. I think she swallowed some of the blood, and puked on the bench, and I really dont know. So, I kept her in the bathroom all night, and my parents just were here and they had called vets for me, and it's going to be hundreds of dollars to fix the cat. um. hi. Single mom, not working full time, and getting only enough for diapers from Nic's dad.. so no. Sorry.. we cleaned her off.. she's eating, and in good sprits.. so she's fine.
but seriously? look at all this blood!

And this is just the kitchen bench. The little divits were filled with blood...so gross

Needless to say- I slept for 2 hours total last night with everything happening, and I feel like I'm going to die. No amount of coffee can help me, even if I could drink as much as I wanted to. I'm so tired. so so tired. But I can't sleep, because I need to watch Jazzer, and I need to do SO much cleaning after all this nonsense.

I think I'm gonna go psychotic.

Taylor Swift - Mean [lyrics & download]

Rashes, and Reflux and Gas-oh my!

Let me tell you a little story called-I slept for 4 hours straight on Tuesday night. It was on my couch, and very uncomfortable, but I did it. I let Nic nurse until he zonked out.. then I woke him up, gave him gripe water, and nursed more. He fell asleep, and I woke him up to eat some more. I tried it again last night, but no luck. And again, we slept on the couch, because he was so fussy. I dont know what's up with him.. I'm blaming the acid reflux pain, because he is never a bad baby... and I think it's the worst at night and I don't know why... but oh well. We went to sleep at like, 11ish and he woke up at 3 to eat, so his stretches are getting longer! ...thank the sweet lord.. and then after that long stretch, it was every 2 hours.. .

So we went shopping yesterday. At Tucson Mall. I think I have a problem. I go shopping every single day.And it's progressed into more than just Target! We went to go to H&M with Monica and Caida, because since my body has morphed into some weird distant version of my preprego body, I needed some new jeans that fit my fat ass. Literally. My ass got bigger, and my stomach looks like Adam Sandler's in "Click" when he flapps his extra skin. I swear -- I'd kill for a tummy tuck. And with the tricare still in full effect until D Day happens, I think I'm seriously going to look into it. In any event, I got 2 pairs of super cute skinny jeans for 20$ TOTAL. Woot woot!While at the mall, I stopped in gymboree, and saw a shirt that says "rexerent" with a dino on it, and I wanted it, but I thought that the DB can get it for Nic. He never sends anything to him, and we send him pictures all the damn time.
I needed the retail therapy, since I am just not pleased with the (almost)ex, because, quite frankly, I loathe liars. And that is all.
I'm obsessed with skinny jeans as of late, because my new love in life, besides my sweet little boy, are boots. I liked them 2 falls ago, but I didn't know how to dress for them, and I'm sure I looked like an idiot.. but I think I've got it this time, and I got suede tan flat boots, and some black leather heels the other day. I <3 boots, and I love short sleeved sweaters. like this one..







It's American Eagle, and I want it, but I loathe buying things on line, since my kajungas are HUGE and its hard to find tops that fit.. let alone tops I can nurse in without taking it totally off. When I finally got home from shopping and dinner, I finished making Nic's other leg warmers. They're adorable. I'm so glad I thought to do this.. he loves them, and so do I.
Can we just talk about my GIANT baby? Why is he so huge?! He's like, the size of an 8 year old or something. This is nuts. He grew out of the NB and straight into the 3mo clothing in like, days. Seriosuly. I was folding laundry and a shirt he wore on MONDAY no longer fits his fatty arms.

Tomorrow, is wings... and after we need to exchange all his diapers for different brands (he only can do Pampers. Nothing else holds his pooie in!) and I think I'm going to just get a size 2 already. Size 1 is up to 14lbs but his fatty fat fat legs ... those suckers are huge.


So, Nic has a rash... it started on his cheek and now it's everywhere, and it's awful... I'm switching laundry soap ASAP




























































These are the perfect words.......

All you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life and mean.
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean.

Oh Mylanta!

I don't think I've researched a topic this hard since I was in college..I feel like I'm on this impossible quest for the holy grail or something. I NEED to find the cure for Nic's acid reflux, because his doctor isn't down with the medicine.


I'm a member of babycenter and on the website, there is a whole board about acid reflux. It's called the reflux rebels. I must have been on the board for 3 hours before I found any information on OTC medication that is safe for infants, and after researching the doses and side effects and benefits, I was exhausted. I actually am probably exhausted because Nic won't sleep at night, but that's besides the point. the point is this: Nic is now taking mylanta. I thought it was helping, and it might be, but he's really really REALLY fussy now. We got home at like, 6 and he ate for TWO hours ..he fell asleep during it, so not 2 straight hours but it was 2 hours..and when he's not sleeping, he's crying--which is SO not like him, so I'm not going to give it to him tomorrow... maybe he just doesn't like it?Or it's making it worse.. I don't know.

Today we ran about a bazillion errands, and one of course, was Target. I had been saying that I wished boys could wear leg warmers..and guess what I saw?! yep. Cute leg warmers with little taxis on it. But they were really long. And I'm sure they were supposed to be long so you can smush them but, I don't know for sure. Anyway, I was looking at them, and they looked like the tops of socks. So, I went to the men's dept and bought 2 pairs of socks and they were so much more "Nic"..yellow isn't really his color. And spending $10 on something that I could make for $2 is so much more mine. :)
I just cut the foot part off, and put hair ties on the part I cut, and sewed it up. I am by NO means good at sewing, but it works for this little thing to keep my little guy's legs warm. The problem is this with Nic: He is fat. So, the issue with him is, since he has bad gas/reflux I think the pressure of the pants band might be uncomfortable. Of course I don't know for sure-- but that's my thought, and it makes diaper changing SO much easier for me.


So, there's these, and other ones that are brown and blue. It seems that he likes them :) yay for being a (somewhat) crafty mommy.

Also, I was telling his grammy that I was going to take all his onesies and make a blanket out of them, but I think I'm going to have my mom help with that project, since I suck at sewing.
AND I thoguht that was such an original idea and I was so proud of myself...until I saw it on line. Oh well. It's still a cool idea I think.



Since we were out since 10am-6pm --I'm pretty sure tomorrow we're going to stay home all day and experiment with the mylanta, gas drops, and gripe water. I tried the gripe water in a bottle, and he sucked it down... and fell asleep. So I think that is his favorite so far.

wish us luck!

lazy day

Today, Nic and I had a pretty lazy day. Well, first of all, he slept for 2 whole hours last night in his bassinet. The rest of the night, he slept with me. He woke up at 4...how might you ask? he woke himself up becuase he was laughing. It was so freaking adorable.He kept doing it all day.
Anyway--we finally got around to leaving the house at 1pm, when we went to my mom's so I could make Nic's dad a copy of his birth certificate, and bring her the apple bread I got them from Apple Annies. Then we went to the post office and then grocery shopping. I used the sling, so no creepy people touched him! yay! Then, we went to the bank, and came home, and skyped with my NJ cousins. In comparison Nic is HUGE! My cousin had her baby, Vincent, 15 days after Nic....
I think Nic is a giant. I never thought that before...I thought he was a little chunkie, but not big for his age or anything...
So, when we went walking tonight, a lady asked his age, and she said "oh my gosh..he's HUGE!" and now I'm weirded out. He's really chunkie, but I thought it was a good thing.. but now I'm nervous that he's too big? I feed him like.. I dont know, 20 times a day? I read that normally, breast fed babies feed 8-12 times a day, but I assume these babies feed from both sides, and don't barf all the time, so I really am not worried about that, but I feed Nic on demand, and so he eats a lot... Am I supposed to not do that? Because I think that's insanely mean. I dont want to starve my kid, but I don't want him to be too fat either.
..it's times like this I really wish I had someone to co-parent with. Today I was really bummed out about this topic, but I digress..

Anyway, when we got home, at about 7:30 I fed him, and he's been asleep ever since. It's 10:30.
How is it that my child sleeps for 3 hours when I'm not tired? EVERY. FREAKING. DAY?!?!?

oh well. this little face makes it ok.

And PS- I hate seeing people sleep. it literally disgusts me, and makes me sick to my stomach if they're not sleeping in a bed, at night time. I know it's a stupid thing, but whatever. Anyway. I freaking stare at Nic sleeping about 20 hours a day. I love this little boy more than anything in the entire world.

I feel really sorry for my self sometimes, since I'm doing it 100% solo, but then just a little while ago, I was text messaging Nic's dad... and it just must suck more for him. Like, I cant stand it if someone else tries to push the stroller, or if someone is holding him for longer than like, 30 minutes, because I feel anxious, and this like, intense desire to hold him. If I feel that way after 30 minutes, how does he feel?

I really hope that when he comes in November we can get along so he can spend as much time with Nic as possible, before he deploys..because even though I'm freaking awesome as a mom.. a little boy needs his dad.

Side Sleeping & Nic's first get-a-way

So...I know they say not to let your baby sleep any way but on their back. It prevents SIDS and I'll do just about anything to avoid that. I'm paranoid like crazy about it. But... Last night, I tried for the first time to let Nic sleep in his crib. I brought an air mattress in his room, blew that sucker up, and we went to bed. He slept in there for about an hour or so, and woke up to eat because God forbid he sleep at night.

So after he fell asleep nursing, I laid him down in the crib and he fussed for a minute...I laid down, and not 2 minutes later he started coughing. He does this pretty often. it's not like a REAL cough, its like, he's clearing his throat or something. So he did that, and then did a real cough, and then the gagging sound and then nothing. So.. I waited until he was quiet and I peeked in at him, and guess what I found? A baby struggling to breathe because his nose and mouth were filled with puke. I am SO glad I did that because he was choking on puke, and couldn't breathe. So yeah.. He's gonna go ahead and sleep on his side. I know doctors say no, but seriously, that was SO scary. Plus, he has a sleep positioner, and I think it's tricking him into thinking I'm still holding him kinda, because I made it kinda snug, so it's awesome. I didn't do it last night though. I was so scared after that, I just held him until like, 5am. I didn't sleep at all. Finally, at like 5:15 I put him in his swing, and but the batteries decided to die at that very second... so I was screwed. No sleep for me..again..

But he apparently, really likes to side sleep. I put him in the bassinet when we got home from Apple Annies, and he went right to sleep. And now? He's just hanging out in there with his passi making noises and it's great.

He always signs "t"

Anyway- today we went to Apple Annies with my friend Grant. It's about an hour and a half drive, and Nic did GREAT in he car. I pumped about 3oz before we left, just in case.. but he nursed for a while before we got in the car.. we drove out there and he didn't really make a peep. When we got there, I nursed him in the car for like 5 mins, and he went in the sling, and zonked out.

We had a really fun time. I love Apple Annies. My family went often when I was growing up, and I really wanted to pass it on to Nic. I know there's no way he'll remember this fall, but I will, and he did a great job.





So, that was our big day. <3>

halloween pictures :]

Sleep Routine?

So, last night, I decided to have Nic sleep ONLY in his bassinet. Did it work? Of course not.
We went into my bedroom at about 10:30, because he was knocked out on me in the living room. As soon as I laid him down in the bassinet, he screamed. So I picked him up, calmed him down, and tried again. Screamed again. So.. (I'm against CIO) I left him in there, but I kept my hand in there with him, and he STILL cried, but since Nic's been home, I've had no more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and it's really getting to me, so I decided to just let him cry for 5 minutes, and risk CPS being called on me. He got really really angry, but after 3 minutes, he fell asleep for a minute, woke up and remembered he was mad at me, and cried, fell asleep, woke and remembered he was angry.. again and again and again, for about 20 minutes. I never took my hand out of the crib, just to let him know I was there with him, and I did the whole "don't worry birdie, mommy's here" thing I do when he's in pain from gas or whatever and I'm holding him, so I don't know if that helped or not, but it seriously broke my heart to hear him cry like that. Thankfully, I know what his cries mean (most of the time) adn he wasn't in pain, or hungry or wet or anything..he just wanted to be held. So anyway, at about 11:00 he was asleep, and he slept until about 12:30, and I brought him to the living room to nurse, and I think we slept out here for like 3 hours..I don't really remember. But I love that my boobs are big enough to lay down with Nic on the couch and nurse. And yeah yeah yeah.. co sleeping is bad. I dont care. Sometimes, I give in, and I need sleep..whatever. I really am worried someone is going to call CPS on me... I had the windows open last night, and I'm almost positive everyone in this little condo area heard him screaming.

..or they might call because there's a baby in the front seat!

So, we tried again in the bassinet at 3:30... and HOLY CRAP this kid would NOT STOP CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I picked him up, and he calmed down, and guess what? we basically slept in my bed on and off for the rest of the morning. Now? The little stinker is in the swing, all smiles, so it pretty much makes the lack of sleep and serious headaches all worth it.

How could I get mad when I get this face to look at?

I just don't know how to establish the sleep routine...

And so.. the whole birdie thing? This child looks like a bird! Not always, only when he cries, or if he's sitting up, and someone blows on his hair. It's so fine, that it ruffles like a little baby bird's feathers... so That's his little nickname from me. My mom calls him chicken, or chickie baby.. I swear, they have this amazing little bond. He focuses on her face and voice SO intently. I love it. I assume he's just familiar with her voice, since the WHOLE time I was pregnant, she would only talk to my belly, never to me. :)

I'm going to be getting this tattoo very soon for my Nic tattoo. I'm going to alter it to match "Nic" colors and such, but that's what I'm getting....I just don't know WHERE on my body to get it.

shopping.

Yesterday, I researched and researched home remedes for acid reflux in babies. I was pretty set on making the appt for Nic with his doctor, however, I'm sure he is too old school to actually put him on the meds I think he would need, which lead to me trying to find my own cure.


I read that I should have Nic at a "sitting up" positon when I feed him. ....I breast feed
I read that I should have him at an incline when he sleeps....he sleeps in his swing to sit up
I read that I should burp between feedings... I only do one boob at a time, so of course he burps

So basically, I'm doing everything I should be doing, but he still is in pain, and still barfs all the time. He's slowly getting better about the vomit (not as often, still large amounts) but he's still in pain. He also gags EVERY time he wakes up (if it's longer than just his 10min cat naps).

So yesterday, me, Nic and his Grammy and Nona went to lunch at my favorite little Italian bakery and then, when my mom left to go to work, LJ's mom and I went to this awesome little baby boutique (babies and beyond, on broadway just east of craycroft) and they had the most amazing stuff there-- I can't even describe it. I was like a kid in a candy store. I love it. ... and I love that they had this little wedge you can put in the crib or bassinet to have Nic elevated at a slight angle, so maybe the poor kid can sleep places besides on me, and his swing.

Hopefully this will work. I didn't try it last night, but I fully intend on doing so tonight.

What I really wanted was this:
But it was freaking $135 and I don't think he'll use it for more than 3 or 4 months, and as a single mom, I just don't really think that was a practical purchase, especially when the wedge was $14.

My aunt bought me a sling for the baby shower, and I've been very timid using it, because of the positioning of Nic's head in it, so I haven't used it. At all really. Yesterday, I found a sling made by the same maker of my nursing cover (munchkin's jelly bean line) and I decided to see if Nic liked it. He did. So I bought it. He loved being held, so I figured this would provide him with the closeness he loves, while still letting me do things that I need to do, and also? Less people try & touch him this way. We used it shopping yesterday, and only 2 people tried, as opposed to the 63w4872638942873t64872634 that do at the grocery store when he's in the carseat.
So, we went to Buffalo Exchange, and Fry's and it was AWESOME. I'm told you can "descretely nurse" in it, but hello. I'm Gina and I have HUGE boobs so I can't really do that without the world seeing the girls.
Anyway- Nic loves the sling, and I love the design.

I think he looks goofy but he really loves it. I swear.
(and I still have a long way to go before I'm pre pregnancy, and it's getting annoying)

In other news? That purple shirt is beautiful... but it didn't fit right. Shopping for my new body is really hard. My boobs aren't that much bigger, but the nursing bras are not under wire and so it's really screwing me up.

Oh well.

Acid Reflux?

For a little baby- that's a lot of puke.

I just had the most insane argument with Nic's dad about vomit. Seriously sometimes I want to strangle that man. Also? He said SIDS isn't real, and I need to calm down about it, because babies just die. WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT MAN????!!!?!?!?!?!? Who says that to a nervous new mother? If he were a DAD and not a FATHER he'd realize how nerve wracking it is worrying that your baby is breathing. Maybe when he's here again next month, he'll make a stronger bond with Nic, and he'll realize what a stupid statement that was... ugh.

Anyway.

I am 99.9% sure that Nic has acid reflux. His vomiting has reduced. it really has. Mostly because I realized that I have hyper lactation and he is a super sucker. Once we established that, we kinda went on our own style of nursing, and it's been working for us but lately he vomits WHILE eating. Also, he cries out in pain while eating. Not only that, he eats like, every 20 minutes lately, and only is actually eating for like 3 minutes. So.. I basically researched the shit out of this issue, and I think he has acid reflux. I have always thought this, from the beginning, and I'm going to go with my gut on this one, and make an appt for Wednesday I think. The only problem is this: My pediatrician is old. Which means his practice is old. Which means this -- he will not test for reflux, saying babies out grow such things. Here's my problem with it all- I do not like cleaning up my kid's puke all the damn time. Also? I dont like to see him in any kind of discomfort at all, and it breaks my heart when he cries from pain.
Nic's dad also thinks babies just cry because his friends' babies cry.

....
DUH!

My issue is this. Nic was only 2 weeks old when his dad left to go home...
I'm LITERALLY with him 24/7

I know his cries, and I know what each one means. I could pick his cry out of a crowd, and Nic's dad wouldnt be able to even identify his own son. So.. when he tells me he's not in pain? It makes me irate. I know something is wrong. I know it's not colic, I know it's not just gas, and I know he's not constipated.

I know I might sound like a crazy person, and I really feel like I am with my whole "i'm a zombie" thing in full effect, but either way, my baby isn't comfortable, so neither am I.

Party Animal

Yesterday Nic attended his first party. :] Two parties actually, and a soccer game.
He also saw his grammy, and met LJ's step-dad for the first time, slept through dinner [allowing me to eat the most delicious salmon and twice baked potato ever (thank god my mom makes dinner, or I swear I'd never eat anything healthy)] and was so totally and completely worn out when we got home.

See?

And I thought he slept for 4 hours straight last night, but I think I might have zombie nursed at 2am.. but I'm not sure. I'm almost positive I did... but I don't know. I think I was watching info-mertials on weightloss or something... I cant remember anymore-- but the good news is, aside from him laying in bed with me from 5a-6a Nic slept in his basinet last night! I can't even explain how amazing that is. He normally wakes up every 20mins in that thing for some reason... but last night, I got home at like, 10pm, and he slept in his crib until 11:30, I fed him until midnight, and then we went to bed- and he did GREAT! I still feel like a zombie, but now its more like a "i just ate a ton of brains and so I'm an energized kind of zombie" state.

My One Month Old.

I can't believe my baby is a month old. My 10 pound 13 ounce one month old.
Can we say chunker? He eats constantly, so obviously he's going to be a little chubby, but he gained 8 ounces in 4 days! And that was before I even fed him! We didn't have the regular doctor again, but the sub-doc said he needs to have gas drops at every other feeding, and he has colic. I disagree. I agree with the gas drop thing, because his butt sounds like a machine gun is attached to it with all his farting, but I don't think he has colic. I think he has a disease called "I'm a spoiled rotten baby who likes to be held constantly, and eat whenever I please, not on a schedule like my Mommy wants"-- because he never cries more than 10 minutes once I've picked him up, and I'm pretty sure colic means the baby cries and cries and you can't console them...doesn't it?

Oh well...

After his doctor's appointment we went out with Auntie Monica to World Market. I love that place. I got my sister's xmas gift, part of my brother's and some adorable ideas for my dad's birthday--possibly xmas. That man is very hard to shop for. As are all men. Because I don't know what to get Alan. At all.
....but it got me to start thinking of Nic's first Christmas.... I'm so excited for his NEXT one, because he'll be able to open gifts but this year, what do I do? I intend on getting him this cute little rocking horse, but it's plush and its a dinosaur!.... but what else? I assume he will be getting a few toys from his grandparents and clothes.. but really? what does a 3 month old need besides diapers?!

isn't that adorable?

So, after shopping, we went to My Big Fat Greek and it was delicious. Nic slept the entire time, even with the dancing and OPA!! screaming and Caida being Caida..that kid cracks me up.

Today is also Nic's Grammy's bday so we picked up her present, and headed home... where Nic ate and slept and ate and slept. And slept and slept. I have a feeling tonight is going to be a looooooong night!

shirts I want for Nic, and a little thing called food poisning.

I. Am. Sick. Yesterday I thought it was just from too much coffee, but today after Wings, I was even more sick..
It's not fun, and here's why:

#1- Nic is also sick, and super clingy
#2- It's hard to be... ya know... sick.... with a screaming baby.
#3- I think everything is transferable through breast milk, and I'm freaking out that Nic is going to be sick to his stomach too. Not that he needs to barf anymore than he already is... good God.
#4- I wanted to work out, but every time I do, I end up getting sick. Kinda not the weightloss route I wanted to go on.

Nic is getting better. His little eye still is goopy, but it's not as bad as it was...at all. It's no longer pink, so it just looks nasty, not like he's sick.

He throws temper tantrums.... seriously. He screams until he turns purple, and kicks his little legs and it's AWFUL! I sent a video to his father, and his response was "why is he so angry?".........like I know. All I know is he is a crazy baby...Seriously. He's a crazy little guy. I love him-but I do not love when he screams like that. I honestly am afraid that my neighbors are going to call CPS on me with the way he screams. Kinda sounds like someone is stabbing him or something--its AWFUL!

We're still figuring out the routine- I try and have him fed and asleep by 10pm every night, but somehow he made it 11:30pm, so I guess that's the new time. However..... instead of waking up every 2 hours, he wakes up every 45 mins to eat at night. WTF!!!!!
Seriously- during the day, he naps for like 3 or 4 hours at a time.
Nights, 45 minutes.

I swear to God in Heaven- if one more person tells me to sleep when he sleeps, I'm going to slap them in the face. I absolutly refuse to sleep during the day. That is NOT ok with me. Nic needs to learn to sleep at night, and that's that. But I swear. I'm SO tired of hearing "sleep when he sleeps" or "try and keep him up during the day"
uh--duh. if I could I would.

Which leads me to my next segment..... Un-wanted advice....

STOP FREAKING GIVING IT TO ME!!!!!!!

I do not care about how your son was, or how good of a sleeper he was, or blah blah blah. I also dont need to know about how pumping and bottle feeding is a great option, or how your kid barfed all the time too, and it lasted 6 years. I don't need to know that your vagina healed quickly because you did kegal exercises and you were back to banging your husband in 4 weeks instead of 6. Mostly, I'm tired of people asking me where my "husband" is. I find the question offensive when I clearly am not wearing a wedding ring- and the maker of my son is no where in sight. I do enjoy that term I've just made. Maker of my Son. bahaha. I crack myself up!
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I want these shirts for Nicolas. Baaaaaadly!

This one is the one I'd like most. I'm pretty sure I'm going to make it.

...this just makes me laugh... mostly because it's true :]

Well, this one should actually say "if I don't sleep, mommy doesn't sleep" because no one else has to deal with his shenanigans.

haha... puke breath... maybe I should call him that now..







I guess when the maker or my son leaves for Afghanistan I can allow this. But I don't want anything else EVER saying anything with "daddy" on it--as I'm the only one raising him-- but if anyone gives him anything with the word "daddy" on it, it goes in the trash. True Story.




I <3 his little toes. I love even more that he sticks them out of the holes in the blanket my friend, Grace, made him.

Sickie Baby

My poor little guy has pink eye, and a blocked tear duct. :( I don't know who he got it from, because I make everyone wash their hands before they even look at Nic, so I honestly don't know where I went wrong. I asked the doctor if it was because I take him out so often, and she said no.. but she's not our regular pediatrician... so I'll wait until Friday when we go for his follow up/ 1 month check up, and see if our real doctor says anything about it. On the plus side, I guess he's building his immunities, but it's still not something I like happening. I mean, he's not even a month old yet, and he's already had his first Rx. His very expensive Rx might I add... but the drops are doing the job. He already looks a little better.. I'm not sure if it hurts him or not (I'd imagine yes) but he's SO clingy it's not even funny. He obviously prefers being held than going in his crib or bassinet, but it's been BAD the last 3 days. Not last night, but the night before (a lemon and a pickle came a-knockin at my door....awful awful awful) he would ONLY sleep on my chest...and it was awful for me. Absolutely awful. Last night, he slept in his swing, and it was awesome. He didn't sleep with me once! woohoo!

In any event--we have a bday party we're supposed to go to on Saturday- so I hope it's cleared up by then... I think it should be, but I'll find out on Friday. Plus Nic's grandparents are coming down this weekend too, and I don't want him to be all goopy when he sees them. It's gross.

See?

Before the warm wash cloth

After the warm wash cloth

Either way, it's so awful. Poor baby.

Causes of Pink Eye in Infants

Pink eye in infants can occur for a variety of reasons. In some cases, a baby can develop pink eye due to a bacterial or viral infection. However, this condition can also be caused by a reaction to common chemicals or because of a variety of allergens. In some instances, pink eye develops simply because of a child's blocked tear duct.

In a vast majority of cases involving pink eye, the primary culprit is bacterial conjunctivitis. Symptoms include redness in the eye and the eye's surrounding area, matting, a yellow-green discharge, itching, and/or burning. The most common treatment is topical antibiotic eye drops or ointment, but some physicians prescribe oral antibiotics which are either used alone or along with the eye drops.

It's just you and me, kid.

When Nic is really mad-you can tell he's Italian. He screams and moves his hands around in a very condescending manner. Take that, Earle genes.

"you talkin' to me?"

And for some reason, my well behaved, happy little guy has become a very cranky, cry baby. Why did this happen? It's because I bragged on him every chance I got, and karma is coming back to get me. That's why. But really, I think he just has some tummy issues. Still. Even though the doctor said he didn't. I mean, I hate to sound cliche-- but a mother knows when something is wrong with her baby, no? So, like a freaking CRAZY person, I went back to Target to look for (again) Gripe Water. No luck. So, today my mom came over to sit with Nic, so I could shower long enough to shave my legs (which, btw I haven't done since Sept 14th...) and while she was out grocery shopping, she came across the Gripe Water....


Shit is liquid GOLD! It's organic, it's sugar free..it's like Jesus in a bottle. Seriously. It totally calmed him down , and I <3 it. A lot. Thank the good Lord for my mother, and her mad shopping skillzzz...

So, once I gave him that, put on the sound machine (womb setting please), he was down for the count. I had to wake him up to feed himbefore LJ's grandma got here for a little visit with him...but he slept the whole time anyway. Oh well.

Anyway, back to my cranky baby.


He has been a SRB (spoiled rotten baby) since birth. Everyone has held him non-freggin-stop. Do I blame them for wanting to hold the most adorable baby known to man? No. Do I wish I had asked everyone to simply look at him? Yes. Because what we have created, Ladies and Gents.. is a sissy baby. That's right. A sissy baby, who refuses to be put down for more than 3 minutes at a time. And I blame myself, because sweet Lord, he's so cute, that I cant even put him down, and I'm literally with him 24 hours a day. It's not like everyone else and I leave.. nope. It's just me and him.

So, I have this sling... My mom keeps telling me to try it out.. that it will make life easier, blah blah blah. WRONG. He hates it! And I hate it, because I feel like it makes his neck all weird, and I'm SO afraid of SIDS, so it's just bad all around. and wtf, my couch smells like a dog... Daizy hasn't been here in a long time, and she's never been on this slip cover... WTF!!!!
I digress...
So, anyway, for Halloween, Nic is going to be carlos from "the hangover" because that is the funniest thing in the world to me. Plus, every other infant costume is so stupid, I wanna puke.
Anyway, I pulled out the carrier, and guess what? He loves it. Zonked out as soon as I put him in it.. however, I still need to learn more about it, because it was SO uncomfortable for me. No biggie I guess-- but I'm glad he likes it. I actually made myself some potatoes for dinner without hearing crying, and with both of my hands this time! Go me!

(this is me, on 2 hours of sleep. laugh, and Nic will throat punch you when he's of age)

Things are coming easier...slowly but surely. It's just me and Nic.I tell him that all the time..it's just us. I get crazy frustrated, he cries harder. We get dressed and ready to go out, he pukes on it (or poops all over himself and his carseat while shopping at the beloved Target)...I wish Nic had a real dad, that was involved, and called to see how he's doing.. not one he sees over skype (which is totally a waste of time if the other person is watching TV and screwing around on their iPhone...). but ya know what? My dad told me this line for about 20 years now.. "life's not fair" and he's right...

...But with Nic? Mine's pretty freakin' great.

My Baby's Three Weeks Old Already!

Man oh man... when your days and nights run together, things apparently go by very fast. I mean, I pretty much walk around like a zombie, but honestly, it's worth it.
There are definatly times where I want to scream, and often times I do-- but at the end of the day, it's just me and Nic and I truly believe live doesn't give you situations you can't handle..
I do wish there was someone to co-parent with... for the times where Nic isn't hungry, he's just crying at 3am... or to share his awesome little sleep smiles with...or to change his poo pants... or to even let me take a nice relaxing shower without me poking my head out every 3 seconds to make sure he's breathing... but that's just not how it is, and that's that.


Today, to celebrate Nic's 3rd week of life, we went to Target (duuuuh) and we got some storage containers for when I pump (which, I might add.... is AWESOME for me. I have an abundance of milk, and pumping is so freggin easy for me... which is great, since I'm going to try and work in a couple of months), and we spent a lot of time playing. His tummy time is really amazing to me. he is lifting his head a lot now, and it's insane. He also discovered that if he wiggles around enough he can roll. Yep. That's right. He rolls over. I put him down on his blanket on his back, and went to the kitchen..when I came back in the living room, he was on his side, which really isn't that new.. he's done that since he was born, but then, I saw him wiggle around and he was on his tummy. INSANE! but-- considering his father was walking at (I think he said..) 8 months or so.... not that weird. Also, when my mom talks to him, he moves his mouth like he's talking. How cute it that? It's like they're having all kinds of secret conversations. I'm pretty sure he was asking for more toys ...and I'm pretty sure she's going to go get him some.

So.. while we didn't do a lot today, it was pretty stressful. We were out for a long time, came home, played a lot... he cried a lot, ate every 45 mins, screamed, pooped and slept. A lot. Because he likes to be awake lionel richie style...all night long...
Now? yeah he's sleeping-its almost 3:30am, and why am I not asleep? Because I have an internet addiction, and I thought it was important to blog about his 3rd week of life.

I love love LOVE my little Nicolas. <3