Nic's dad comes in today. While I'm glad he's wanting to come to see his son.. it's like, a bitter sweet reunion for me. Nic is totally picking up on these emotions.

sometimes we're happy

sometimes we're really upset about it



it's exhausting.

Speaking of exhausting....
I have desperately been trying to have Nic sleep in his bassinet. Usually, he will sleep in there from 11pm-2:30 or 3am, which is awesome. He'll wake up and eat.. and stay awake. UNLESS I lay him in bed with me.. then he zonks out. Am I proud to say I let him do this every night? No. But I need sleep. I really need sleep. Like, not 3 or 4 hours. All I'm asking for is 6 straight hours. Maybe when he moves out? But maybe that will never happen, because he'll never be able to sleep anywhere but with freakin' me. aaagh.

I really am against letting him cry it out at this age.. but next month, I might try letting him cry for like ten minutes? I dont know. I'll feel like a douche bag if I do that.




I think my sweet little man has hit another growth spurt. Not only is he SUPER clingy, but he's been eating more. Not more often, just longer-which I don't mind at all, but it's just such a change from his usual 10 minute nursing sessions. Now they're more like 20-30.
But, he really is growing! His grammy bought these shirts for him and when she brought them down about 3 weeks ago, we laughed at how big they looked, and hoped that he'd be able to fit into them when it was cool, since they were sized at 6months. Yeah....

Fits pretty well at 2 months...

He's so damn cute.



also? His rash has almost completely cleared up. Stupid doctors telling me to use all this nonsense. Idiots. Vaselene is the only thing that's working. Also, oddly, nipple butter? I hope no one tells him that when he's older. Or maybe I'll save it for when he brings over some skank I dislike. God- I dread that day.

So, I've been using Arbon bath wash for Nic, along with the cetaphil, and it has totally cleared him up.

see?

So, I love little boys in hats. I didn't think Nic would mind wearing them, since I put him in hoodies all the time, but when I put hats on him, he started cracking up! He's such a little ham! When I pull out my phone, he knows it's picture time, and goes all out and smiles. I love it!

Wish me luck for this upcoming 12 days. It's going to be insanely hard, I'm sure. For every pleasant day, there are like 4 awful arguments. its like a circle, and it sucks.
A girl I went to hs with, messaged me on fb that if I could endure child birth, I could endure this crappy situation...it was very encouraging..

( But, I'd rather give birth sans epidural than have to go through this)