Hurry up.

Single parenting, with the other parent around.... huh?

I just was saying how well Nic's dad and I were getting along, and how helpful he was being and then *SHABAM!* it goes back to being a shitfest. I can pin point it exactly, but I honestly don't want to waste the time telling everyone about how me asking him to roll over for snoring caused world war III because it's really stupid.

So, as much as I didn't want to, yesterday, I went to the fakesgiving dinner. I didn't want to go because Nic's dad was being a jerk to me, stormed off at 5am. I didn't want to go because I was going to feel hella uncomfortable. I didn't want to go to make a point.
...then I realized if I didn't go the point would be that I looked like a huge See You Next Tuesday. So I called his mother, and talked to HER because mr. doucher didn't care enough to call without his mother telling him to, and she said to just come, because even if LJ doesn't think I'm family, I still am to her. it was really quite nice of her to say that. So, I went against everything and went.

Also, yesterday something wonky was happening with my boob. It hurt like when you fold your ear in your sleep, and you wake up and you're like woah, wtf mate? who punched my ear? that. It hurt like that. All freaking day long (it still hurts today even) and I was freaking out trying to go to the doctor, but since I'm over 8 weeks PP, they said I had to get a referral, which takes up to 72 hours and blah blah freaking blah. So I went to target, got these soother gel things for my nips, and went to the dinner. PS? don't waste your money on those if your boobies hurt. They don't work. And its awkward.
And let me just say this. I freaking HATE when i walk in the door and people just whisk away my child. he is mine, therefore you must ASK to hold him.
anyway, I get there, and naturally Nic was hungry, so I went into the room to feed him and LJ came with, and we chatted for a little and then we went to eat. I didn't want to eat, because I felt like death, but LJs step-dad is an amazing chef (like, a legit chef, not "hey I like to cook so I'm gonna call myself a chef" kinda chef) so I thought what the heck, I'll try. So LJ nicely made me a plate, and we sat down to eat and his cousin came in, REEKING ...seriously, reeking of a cigarette, so I finished eating, my MiL was holding Nic, and his cousin asked to hold him. So, I took nic and was going to get a passi, and I pulled LJ aside and told him she couldnt hold him, and then I told my MiL I didn't want her even NEAR my child, and everyone was cool about it.
Until this morning. Apparently, all I did was complain the WHOLE time ruining everyone's dinner, and I'm a HUGE douche. right? uh...ok.

This morning's activities included an hour long argument. Why might you ask? oh. it's because i was up all night changing the baby, and he had to do it TWO times so when i asked this morning for him to do it he concluded that was all he was good for.
mmmm ok. So I was a smart ass and said "oh and youre GREAT at paying CS!"
I seriously think we have some NEED to fight if we get along for more than 24 hours. its like, if we dont, the world will stop spinning, and I dont really want to be responsible for THAT to happen. but seriously, wtf. 2 more days, and he cant just be decent, so it makes me not want to be decent.. i'm so tired of the fighting, and me begging him to be around his kid.
oh, and last night, Nic peed on him, So he went to change adn get an eegee (the most amazing thing in Tucson) and it took 2 hours. eegees is down the street. I assumed he fell asleep since he's famous for douching out of plans because he fell asleep, so I texted his mom to tell him just not to bother, and LJ calls me and says his car ran outta gas blah blah blah. He came back here at freakin 10:45 and Nic was asleep.. I mean, we decided he wasn't going to stay here. So at midnight, i was tired. Apparently, because I was tired, it meant LJ should be too, so he stayed here, causing said argument this morning. Like, if youre going to stay here to "help" fucking be here to help. Don't just say youre going to help to look good to everyone else. He got up two times. I got up like 5. I loathe people that try to make themselves sound helpful when really? they're sleeping on your bedroom floor snoring all effing night. Again.

So, Thursday needs to get here, and it needs to hurry up. I want my life back. I want my little family back. I haven't seen my own parents because I've been too busy appeasing Nic's father, and I miss them. They're there for me every day. They're there for Nic every day. LJ is here for TWELVE days and only 2 of them were nice.

I assume if I were in his shoes I wouldn't be thinking "oh man, Gina is a douche bag, I gotta get the hell away from her, but first I'll insult her in every way possible and then storm out like a fucking 2 year old" no no no!
I would think this:
"holy shit, I'm about to deploy for a year. my kid will have absolutley no idea who I am, and he'll be walking and talking and I will be missing all of it, so I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make it bearable for both of us so i can spend time with my precious son"

...but I guess that's just me eh?

This morning, he stormed out again, and when i asked him for a time (because I have to go to work) he said sometime before the sun goes down. WTF! yeah ok. So I said, uh no, give me at least an estemite. And he said no. So I said, then you can't come back here because I need times, so I can plan accordingly, and he said he was waiting for me to say that so he could leave. Now-wtf does that mean? because my career as an interpreter made me interpret it this way:
"I'm a huge wonky douche who just wants to leave so i can smoke and sleep at my grandmas becasue I can't do it at your house, so I'm going to be an assmunch to you until you kick me out, that way YOU look like the ass munch, and don't and I can tell everyone youre a huge bitch and blah blah blah"

Please remember, I was trained at interpreting, so I'm a professional.
ok, so i was trained in interpreting ASL but still.

we made this onesie to match , because we were getting along, and it was cute.

i let him sleep with me and Nic because we were getting along, and this too, was cute.

this was all me. I love slouchy hats on me, and it looks like a chef on Nic!

My big boy sitting up all the time now.

My little monster. He's so sweet.

I'm pretty sure I laughed so hard after he peed on his father, that I scared him.... and also, he hates being in anything but full clothing, so he was being a cry baby... but how cute is that robe?!

oh, and I didn't give Nic the zantac for 3 days, adn I thought he was doing ok. WRONG!
Guess i'll keep giving him a lose dose for a little while again. Poor kid was screaming in pain while nursing last night. :(

I just don't know what to do for the next 2 days. I really don't. I don't want LJ to leave on bad terms, because he IS deploying for a year... but I don't want to have to subject myself to him degrading me, and coming and going as he pleases and I'm just way too stressed out. I shouldn't feel uncomfortable in my own home, and I shouldn't have to stop my life becasue he's in town.

Seriously-single parenting, with the other parent around is the most awkward thing in the world.