dang it.

This week as just been awful. Nicolas got half of his shots on Monday, and this whole week he has been the fussiest baby ever. It's really bad. Today, I'm going to be trying out a new doctor and finish his set for the 4 month shots. I don't like to give them all at once, and clearly, his little system didn't react well to the first half, so I would feel like a huge douche bag had I given ALL of them to him. Plus? I know it was disproved, but I will do everything in my power to have him not be Autistic. And I know that wouldn't be the end of the world... but I'd rather be safe than sorry. His old doctor, was a douche. So were all the nurses, and office clerk. The one nurse I absolutely looooooved, and so did LJ, left! So, I went in on Monday with my mother in law, and she witnessed it first hand. The nurse told me to let Nic cry for 10 minutes, peek in, say i love you, and then 20 minutes, and do the same... I told them I'm anti-CIO, it's on the chart. I also was told to give him formula so I could get some sleep when he was like 2 months old or something... I EBF... so I decided to switch. I mean really? What kind of doctor WANTS a baby on formula if they're thriving on breast milk? A stupid one, I guess. I mean... clearly Nic is getting enough to eat...

Other than the jerkoffs that work there, the doctors visit went well. Nic is a fatso, weighing in at 17.15lbs, in the 96th percentile, and 25 3/4 inches long, 76th percentile. The nurse couldn't believe he was 4 months. His dad was the same though, and look at the guy now.. skinny as all hell.

Wednesday, we went on a little shopping adventure (bad idea... but I got an adorable dress!) and Nic got his first baseball hat! I freaking LOVE it.
I mostly took this picture because his dad likes him in only a diaper, and I'm sending this to him in Afghanistan. How are his dad and I doing?! I dont have a dang clue, because he won't talk to me for more than 5 minutes and really? how do you casually bring up "hey! We have a life altering decision to make so do that right now" in 5 minutes? You don't, and that sucks. Plus he has his army of skanks on fb and it churns my stomach. AND I had a dream he had another secret son, and I woke up furious.

Yesterday, was wings (and a Ross stop, where I found a beautiful dress for $3.50. Seriously, the sunglasses I bought were more expensive. It's black and white and i. love. it.). And it was glorious. Nic did pretty well.....a little fussy, but Monica's daughter is apparently his "big sister" and was taking care of him. It's so freaking cute. She's one and a half, and Tuesday, she was giving him his passy, and giving him a bottle of water... the lady at the boutique called her a good big sister... and it was adorable, making me want to have another baby. Like I didn't want to badly enough already, this confirmed my desire to have a little girl. I loved being pregnant. SO much.
Speaking of pregnancy...

Today is Nic's dads bday. More importantly, a year ago today, I found out we were going to be parents, and I was elated. I must have peed on 15 sticks, because I simply couldn't believe it though. Freaking 2 doctors told me I wouldn't be able to have a baby...jerks. I seriously couldn't imagine going through life not having Nic in it. How cliche am I about to sound.... He is my whole world. uh I guess pretty bad. but it's true! I can't imagine a life without Nic.

And ps? NOTHING is helping this boy's teething pain. I've tried baby oragel, teething strips, teething tablets.... I gave him tylenol for the shots but I think it might have helped the teething situation too, but I really don't want to give that to him too often. But thank God my mother in law picked some up for us, or I'd probably be crazy, in a padded room or something.
I don't know what else to do. He doesn't like anything cold to chew on. he likes fabric, and so I let him chew on like, reviving blankets but that's gross... I'm SO at a loss now. it's so sad hearing him cry about his little gums, but there's literally nothing left that I know to try. Maybe I should listen to boozers and give him whiskey... but really? I think that will set him up for a life time of alcoholism, and quite frankly, LJ and I both have addictive genes, and I dont want to even chance it. I know it probably wont do anything.... and I'm a psycho but I'm not doing it. Plus, wtf. I don't drink whiskey so what? am I going to walk to the check out line and say "oh, it's not for me. My baby really likes to cap one off before bed time"? uh no.