Colds, Texas and Stress.

It's been far too long since I've blogged.

With that said- things have been ca ca ca craaaaazy up in here. Nic is doing so well it's not even funny. He can roll to get places, and if you hold his hands he walks with you. I mean, not steady or anything, but he can do it. His right leg kinda stomps, and it's hilarious. He laughs when I laugh, and he screams like no body's business. He was 25 inches and 18lbs on the 15th.. Yesterday I took him to the doctor for a little check up because he was coughing, and pulling his ear (everything is fine, no ear infection, just a cold...again.... even though I breast feed [which btw, is back on track..booya!]) and his weight is the same, but he grew 3 inches. In 2 weeks. Whaaaat? no wonder his clothes looked silly. haha.

Friday early morning, we took a trip to Texas. My friend wanted to go to a concert, and I wanted to see my friends from the interpreting program I graduated from. It was SO much fun. I was surprised with how well my little Nic did, but he was amazing! It was easier that I nursed him in the car (awkwardly or course, and it was SO hard to wear the cover!) but we stopped often enough to change him and for him to stretch his little legs. He had a blast in Texas. So, I think I just might move there.... If I can get a full time position interpreting at the college my friends work? it's on. All I have to do is a little emailing, and study my ass off for the NIC and I'm in. I'm going to start studying instead of watching yo gabba gabba. Seriously? the show sucks me in! I turn it on sometimes for Nic so I can clean, but nope. I just sit with him on the couch, cuddle and watch that show. Don't get my wrong. I love to cuddle with my little guy, but I dont even ever leave the house until like... oh.... 1 or 2. And I never ever shower until right before I leave, because something is wrong with me.

In any event-- being in Texas really stirred up some emotions.. I mean, thats where LJ and I became ... idk, everything. I went to Temple to meet my friends for lunch, and was flooded with memories. And they were all amazing memories. And it really fucked with me... and still is. I still don't get it sometimes.. but whatever. Ugh.. whatever. Anyway. Nic and I had a blast. We went to the Austin Zoo, which is more of a rescue center than a zoo...it was pretty cool. Nic was really interested in the tiger, so of course I bought him one at the gift shop. I was pretty sad they didnt' have a penny press.. the do at Reid Park Zoo here in Tucson... we're just lucky I guess. Tucson zoo rocks. Hard.

I also went to a concert while in Austin. It was pretty cool.. not really my favorite kind of music, but it was still fun to get out sans baby... even though every 30 mins i was texting to make sure he was ok. Which of course he was lol.. my friend's parents were out there for work, the same weekend we went so it was perfect. Nic loves them.

He's a little sick still--he's sooo stuffy, and doesn't like the booger sucker-uper, thus resulting in boogers smeared all over his sweet little face. So. Gross.

In other news, I've started Nic's bday party plans, and it's a big secret, because I hate the idea that someone might copy me haha. Snobby? Probably. But my kid's first bday party will kick your kid's first bday party's ass so hard, you'll be takin it to urgent care. booyaaa... But the only problem is that its gonna be soooo expensive. Holy balls. At least 300$... I hope LJ will split it with me, seeing how he is just going to show up to it.. which i want. I want one party for Nic.. but I'm just sayin, he's not going to do any of the leg work.. he should at least split the costs with me. And if he doesnt? im going to punch him in the wiener.

OH- my sister is going to her Senior Prom, and guess who her little date is? Yep. Nic. Well... for the pictures. haha.. SO i got him the CUTEST suit! It's like, teal and it has a little vest and dress pants... and hes going to wear his skull and cross bone shoes! hells yes. AND he can wear it for Easter. And before all that, he's getting his hair cut. Some old bitch in Texas said he was pretty like a girl. EFF that. he's all boy, all the time.

And here are some pictures of our trip:

strep

I feel like an asshole saying it, but I'm SO sick of seeing happy little families with their picture perfect life, and then having them look down on me for not being the conventional family. Well, here's some news for you assclown, my little family is great. Except when I'm sick.
I have a raging case of the strep. I totally went to work to interpret, and now I kinda feel like a douche bag, since I was so close to the client all day, but I honestly didn't think it would be strep. Well... ok. I thought it might be, but last time I thought that, it wasn't. And so, now that I know it is, I feel bad. But, interpreting was great! I miss it. And that's about all I can really say about it.

Anyway, back to be being sick. It sucks. It sucks because I still want to kiss on my sweet little angel (who, btw, was awesome staying with my parents yesterday, and was so happy to be home and cuddling with me. and I cried like an idiot when I left him, because I'm a sissy baby), I still want to go do things, because I don't KNOW how to be sick. Like, I'm making plans to go to the park, and Mt. Lemmon.. I'm such an idiot.

Nic is holding his bottle all by himself, and while it's convenient at times, I hate it. I just nursed him, and then he downed about 7oz of formula. I haaaate giving it to him, but obviously, he needs it. The supplements are helping a little I think, but... since there's really no way to measure how much he's getting, I'm not sure.

Nic says baba, mama and papa. And makes killer fart noises with his little mouth.

Updates, and Breast Milk

So first, lemmie just say, I hate herbs. They make me stink, make me tired, and make me eat like I did in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy (5 bagels a day anyone?). With that said, they freakin work! I went from getting 1/2 an ounce combined, to 3 ounces combined, in one week. I'm going to keep taking them, in hopes to go back up to 6-8oz combined, so in the meantime, I'll be giving Nic about 8-12oz of formula a day. And while I don't cry when I do it anymore, I still think it's gross. But.... I saw that there's a night time formula, that apparently thickens as the baby digests, helping them sleep through the night.... I seriously am considering it. Nic is now sleeping in his crib like, 5 or 6 nights a week. I like co sleeping. I see no problem with it at this age, however, I dont want my 5 year old in bed with me... so. there's that.

Yesterday, I took my boy to the park, with LJ's mom. Poor kid was SO tired, but we was in the swing for like, 15 minutes, and then we went on the slide. I held him in my lap for the big slide, and he seemed to really like it. I love that he likes to do things like that. I'm so fearful that he's going to be boring like someone ELSE we know... god forbid. GOD freggin FORBID that, because I will not enjoy it. at all.

In other news-Nic's eating pears, applesauce, fruit cereal, peas, and carrots like a champ. He's not a fan of green beans. I don't really blame him, they're kinda gross pureed. Although, it might have been my fault, for making them a bit too watery... Next time I guess. According to the gerber food chart, since he's sitting, he can have chicken and veggie dinners... but I can not figure out how to make that. I don't want to buy baby food, unless I have to, and I dont have to, because while I'll be freelance interpreting (that's right, friday I start..whaaaaat!!??) my number 1 job is being a mom. Even though I was promised to be able to stay at home for 2 years at least... but shit happens. Shit like divorce. And shit like Nic has been throwing up for a few days now, and its not from the formula I dont think. wtf
He also will kiss me. I freaking love it. He hugs and kisses me! He'll sometimes do it to a few other people, but not as intently, and i love it. :)

anyway.

Lets show the week in pictures, shall we?

Nicolas is in LOVE with teething biscuits.

He goes from sitting.....

to trying to crawl in seconds.
He can't quite hold his fat self up yet, but he's really trying. He rolls to get to places. wacko





My sweetie on the swings. Notice the slap beacelet? yeah, my parents when to an 80s themed party. I jacked the prizes, because really? Whats cooler than slap bracelets? nothing.

And now he can get out of his swing. yep. it's awesome. I went to brush my teeth, and came back, and he was almost out. cool huh?

I'm really excited for him to be able to spend the day with my parents on Friday, because quite frankly, I don't trust another soul with my kid. NO one.

Nic is totally saying mama now! Everyone said he'd say dada... wrooonnng he's never said it. :] I would have been so depressed.

thats all.

freaking formula.

I just gave Nic formula, and I feel like the biggest shit bagfailure in the history of mothers. I said I would never do this, and I would breast feed until he was ready to stop, which I was hoping to be around 12-14 months. My body, on the other hand, thinks 6 months is enough. I'm taking every herbal suppliment known to man, eating 1800 calories a day, drink at least 20oz or water (i didnt even do that while pregnant) I'm taking vitamins, I'm doing everything right.... I just am not making enough for my son, and it's killing me. I nurse at night, and in the morning, but it seems like during the day, he just is trying and trying and he gets frustrated and pulls away screaming. He is NOT a fussy baby. Never has been. But he's been so frustrated, that he throws fits and its awful. For both of us.

So, I just gave my sweet boy a little formula, and he sucked it down in 3 minutes. Seriously, 3oz in 3 minutes. He must have been starving. I nursed him and gave him his breakfast (apple sauce, bananas and some fruit cereal) and then he nursed again, and again....and again. Still wasnt content. I gave him the formula, and he's a happy baby. And its breaking my fucking heart. I do not want to do this often. Formula isnt good for him. Theres like 40 ingredients. Thats not good. Thats SO much for him to process... he gets home made baby food b/c I'm afraid of additives... yet I gave him formula? I'm so upset. I cried the entire time I gave him the bottle.

I pumped this morning, for 20 minutes. yeah.. I got 2 oz out.

This really really sucks. I really hope my supply comes back with these herbs..I do not want to fail at this.