my goodness!

My favorite picture EVER!!!

It has been a whirlwind of a life lately. So many things have been going on...
Nic is rolling from his belly to his back (2/19 was the first time, at his grammy's), he can pick up food to his mouth, like avacados, or bananas... He knows his name totally. He also knows his nick-names (bird, buddy, baby, Nic, ect but NOT Nicky. fml i hate that. I really do..my dad and Lj's step dad do it... and i mean, i cant tell them to stfu, but it makes me fucking crazy. Nicky is a girls name. ALSO? not nicK, it's just nic, come one people!) he screams and waits for a reaction from other people, which is great, since it cracks me up so hard i have to sit down, and then he KNOWS he's funny, so he keeps freaking doing it.. he is great. He's really an amazing child, and I'm SO lucky to have him all to myself.

yes.

all to myself.

So, I had said previously that I was going to wait for Sept to get here before Nic's dad and I made a decision on getting back together...
but then we didn't talk for a few days... and I was truly happy. I was happier not talking to him and not dealing with the arguments, and his lack of desire to know about our child... so next time we spoke, we somehow got to talking about it all, and it was like, crystal clear: we're done. We're happy people, but miserable together. We're good people, bad together. We would be shitty parents together, because we would argue constantly. I mean, he's a great man, and he'll be a good father (i hope) but we're just better as friends. Unfortuantly for me, I put a lot of energy into trying to make him love me, and it was exhausting, and it really made me re-evaluate my life.
I hate to say it like this, but I'm like TRULY happy right now. I didn't realize how unhappy I was, until I found happiness. And I mean, of course I'm happy being a new mom, and with my amazing son, but my personal life? just Gina and not Mommy? yeah, I wasnt happy until like, Feb 13th.
But now I am, and one chapter is closing, and a new one is opening beautifully, and I haven't been this happy in years... and that is the most depressing thing to ever admit.. but it's true. It sucks though, knowing Nic won't have his natural family with him constantly growing up, but I know when the time comes for him to have step parents, LJ and I will pick the appropriate mates, and things will be good. At least they better, because I have no problem stabbing a bitch in the neck with a knife.LJ and I talked about dating, and we're both ok with it... I just hope he doesn't pick skanks ... Nic doesn't need to see that shit. And LJ's only fear? that Nic calls the man I'm with Dad... that'll never happen though.... LJ is the dad, and that's that.

So anyway-- my cousins all came out from California to Scottsdale, so since we were up there, I decided to make it a friday-sunday thing so LJ's parents could spend a little bit of time with Nic, and they asked us to stay there. It was awesome. Nic rolled over from tummy to back for the first time there, and LJs stepdad made an awesome breakfast. I also got to meet one LJ's cousins, so Nic's 2nd cousin, and she was so dang sweet. And she loved Nic. :] I feel so weird not calling them my inlaws now... shit. I wonder if that will ever stop? idk I like calling LJs mom my MiL... I guess I technically have until January lol.


anyway
Seeing MY family was amazing! I havent seen them in literally 14 years. FOURTEEN years. Nothing really changed. We're all the same.. the party was awesome, and there was a photobooth there, and holy balls, I want one in my house. Seriously thats ALL I want to do for my birthday. haha

: /

Well well well. My kid is a riot. A freakin riot.

Today, I took him to the doctor, because he is coughing like a veteran pack a day smoker.
Apparently, it's just a cold. No biggie... to the doctor. That guy should really come home with us, and check out this guy at 2am coughing so hard he barfs. Also, he can come home with us, because for a middle aged man, he's smokin hot. Unfortuantly, he has the HOTS FOR MY MOTHER!!! Yes, that's right. He said (last time I brought my mom in for Nic's appt) "where is your mom that's too young to be a grandma?" Then as he was walking out the door he said "tell your mom I said hey"

I have mainly male friends. I know how to translate what he said. it is literally transfered to "your mom's hot, and I wanna bang her" and so, I'm a little bothered. But....anyway

He said Nic is really thriving, which just makes me so happy. He said all this because my little bird decided to ham it up, and show off all his "tricks" there on the table.
What tricks did he do?

• rolled over
• tried to sit up
• babbled using the m, b, and g sound
• followed the dr with his head and eyes, while totally supporting his neck himself
• sat up un-supported for almost a minute
• make his goofy face

So, if I furrow my brow and said HEY to him, he makes this face:


And he just found his tongue, and it looks like this when he's playing with it:
I know they look similar, but trust me, they're not. One has relaxed brows, the other doesnt. Just trust me. I'm his mom.

The squash eating is going really well. He's starting to enjoy it more and he has 2 cups left, so once he's done with those, I'm guessing Thursday, he's starting carrots and sweet potatoes.
I'm so excited! I love having dinner with him.

So while I'm glad he only has a cold... I have a stomach virus, and it sucks. It's really hard being sick with a baby in general, but when you have a stomach virus, and the bathroom takes you as it's hostage, it sucks...more so when you're alone in this.it suuucccckkkkssss

Also? I am tired of looking for an interpreting job in schools here. I want to move to Texas SO badly, but I can't do it until at least July. And I just dont know if I should even do it then! I would really miss my family, and my friends. I just need a job, and I need it like... last month. I mean, I tutor, and that's cool, but I dont think that its going to go after may.. and that sucks. I need to work in a school. I need to. I'm going to go crazy if I don't find a job, but I'll also go crazy if I do, because that means leaving my sweet little guy.



I mean... how could anyone ever leave this face?